Gannets fall on the road to hell.
By Matt Clarke
An extremely scratch Gannets team get it handed to them in a match where simply just getting to the game for kickoff was an achievement in itself.
To be fair,it wasn't looking too bad midweek for the housewives faves. A pretty healthy looking squad was taking shape until the inevitable last minute drop outs started.Perri was poached by the trumpets...H had to work leaving a big hole in the front row and Mayhem Junior/Senior again,both had to work (this term is used loosely in the case of senior) meaning the Gannets had no second row.But the Gannets are nothing if not versatile.Players stepped up and played out of position (Beazer in the forwards??) Moles LEGEND Marc Lloyd stepped up and Dan Bromley decided to give it a go seeing as he was local and he brought his mate along too,bringing the total up to 15.
Well 14 plus Martin Riley.
These days Riley is more lager and trans fats than man and subsequently has the speed and turning circle of a Welsh Dresser.But with the ever expanding Richard Mayhew missing,he added much needed ballast.
Then they had the traffic to contend with.With some bright spark deciding to close the M20 on a Saturday,the resulting traffic was biblical...if they,err,had cars in the time of our lord Jesus Christ.So with most of the team arriving 5 or ten minutes before kick off and in the author of this pieces case,arriving,getting out of the car and straight onto the pitch it was a tall order for the Gannets to come out of blocks at anything close to their best.Toby,however got there in plenty of time because he's a train driver.Just don't dis trains though because he goes f*cking mental.
There is a method to all of the above waffle because,well there wasn't much positive to write about for the first half.A fustercluck of missed tackles,dropped balls,turnovers and some quite frankly bizarre kicking from all involved resulted in the Cants running in try after try,mainly via there extremely speedy and elusive wingers.
There was a brief glimmer of hope early in the first half when Dan Beazer took the ball over but this was merely a false alarm punctuated by Martin Rileys dropkicked conversion attempt because no one could find a tee.
The halftime score hovered around the 40 points to 5 mark and the inquest/bollocking began with the emphasis on better defensive form,notably spreading out in one straight line and closing down the ball carrier quicker.
Believe it or not,this actually worked! Where the hosts attackers previously had carte blanche to do as they pleased,they were now being forced to kick possession away or turn the ball over in the tackle.The pressure from the reinvigorated Gannets soon told with several raids on the home line from Paddy being repelled,it was Jamie Feighery eventually crashed over for a deserved score.The overwhelming feeling amongst the Gees players was what if they could have got there an hour before kickoff and actually had the chance to warm up?
With their tails up the Gannets temporarily forgot to do the things discussed at the half and their hosts exploited a massive overlap just minutes later to score a simple try.
Another defensive cock up from the tired Gannets ensured that the Cants padded the score further and not withstanding Matt Clarke's nose exploding like a tin of red paint dropped from the top of a tall building,that was the last of what eventually was an entertaining game played by two teams in absolutely the right spirit.
Final word goes to the man of the match as voted for by Canterbury,Gary Curran,who came out with the most Irish outburst you could ever wish to hear.When asked if his beautiful 'dag' could have a piece of chicken curry he retorted "fook off! She'll shoite all over ma caravan".
Until next time......