Moles 7 Maidstone Vets 22

The Moles were the only truly live experience on offer for rugby fans flocking to Rectory Field on a glorious Saturday afternoon for the world’s greatest sport. Joining the Moles out on the hard, dry and dusty first team pitch were those perennial wily adversaries, the Maidstone Vets.

2015 hasn’t been a great year so far for the Moles out on the park but nonetheless a hardy group of Moleys rocked up for run out including 2012 tour secretary, Simon ‘Susan’ Saunders back in G Town again following his move down to Faversham.

When you’ve been playing a team a couple of times a season for ‘God knows how long’, you get to know the faces. However, the Vets’ first half line up featured a number of unfamiliar faces, particularly in their backline, which while their ‘Vet’ status was generally in question, made the Vets a distinctly pacier, ‘move the ball through the hands’ outfit in comparison to their usual wily ‘up the jumper’, ‘kill the ball at the breakdown’ approach! That pace was much more suited to the conditions and the Moles were initially overwhelmed in all areas by the Vets. An early converted try saw Maidstone both physically psychologically gain the upper hand and while the Moles battled hard to get into the game, through perseverance in the scrum and spirited but largely unsupported ball carrying by Gareth Moore and Neil Martin, the Stones added a further two tries to lead 17-0 at half-time.

So, not a lot of Moley things to shout about so far, but things changed dramatically in second half as the Vets’ side took on a more familiar look with a raft of grey-haired replacements. The Moles were more assertive immediately from the restart, taking control of a maul situation on the half-way line. Clearing up at the back, prop Elvis decided to save scrum half Nod the decision of whether to run forward with the ball or run forward with ball, by running forward with the ball. Elvis was very quickly ‘all shook up’ by a big lump who proceeded to tackle and drop him head first into the hard ground! Elvis characteristically managed to get the ball back but uncharacteristically stayed down for several seconds before rising to his feet somewhat dazed and confused with a torn up bloody face and wondering where his mates where? At the next breakdown 20 metres or so across the field, most of Moleys were all looking at the huge flap of flesh hanging off of Smudge’s leg and underneath, his exposed knee cap! A case of Elvis being beaten to #2 in the ‘Attention Seeking’ charts by The Smith(s)!

Back to the rugby, the Moles were now in charge and dictating the match on their own terms. What did this look like? Well, a former GRFC 1st XV skipper watching from the side-lines counted a total of five Moles passes in the entire half with three of those being made by Oily! Surely an exaggeration but probably not far off the truth! And indeed, it was that epitome of a centre ‘Big Bri’ who showed his versatility yet again to score a prop’s try to get the Moley’s on the score sheet; a score deftly converted by Adam ‘I’ve got my tie now’ Jenken. Neil Martin almost capped another excellent performance at hooker by going close for a second try, only to be held up just short of the line.

Maidstone rarely challenged during the second half. Late on however, a potential ‘crossing’ offence by the Vets was allowed to go by referee Dave ‘Stormin’ Norman (who as usual, presided over a free flowing match) which led to the first significant Stones’ attack of the half down the blindside towards the Gillham End. A succession of Moles’ missed tackles saw the Vets over the line for their fourth try of the afternoon and a final score of 22-7 in favour of the visitors.

Much port and beer followed as per usual and Velcro, who managed to avoid getting into a fight this afternoon, was named Mole of the Match; a well-deserved accolade after a number of fantastic performances for both the Moles and the Swans this season and proof once again that the Moles is something much much more than just a rugby team!

Line Up: Elvis, Brucey, Susan, Neil Martin, El Tel, Velcro, Carl Sells, Smudge, Posty, Oily, Ork, Gareth Moore, Nod, Merv, Lloydy, Mick Terry, Big Bri, Gerry Keenan, Tucker Jenken, Neil Miller