Moles 14 Southwark Lancers 29

On a glorious day for rugby, the Moles welcomed Southwark RFC’s 3rd team to Rectory Field for the first time. The Lancers were a late replacement for the Moles’ scheduled fixture against their wily old foes of Maidstone Vets. Seemingly the Vets’ could not raise enough old farts to fulfil the fixture with both a selective understanding of the laws of our wonderful game (particularly the concept of the ‘gate’) and in turn a preparedness to lie on top of the ball while being kicked to buggery by both sides. Get well soon Maidstone Vets and thanks to Moles’ skipper Shotgun for saving us all from an afternoon of Christmas shopping at Bluewater.

Anyway, The Lancers had rocked up without a complete front row but thanks to the goodwill of latest Moles’ ‘wannabe’ Pierre Du Toit who readily offered his considerable services to the oppo, the game kicked off as a proper game of rugby with contested scrums; a situation that happily continued for the full 80 minutes thanks to the similar goodwill of other Southwark players following injuries in the front row.

The initial exchanges out on the ‘banana’ pitch saw the Moles dominate possession and make forays deep into the Lancers’ half. However, a loose ball was pounced upon by one of the more youthful Southwark players to see a 80 metre dash through an array of Moles’ ‘tackling bullfighters’ to touch down between the posts and set the visitors on the road to establishing a 7-0 lead against the run of play.

Moley spirits were not disheartened though and a break by hooker Neil Martin (he keeps his age of 56 very quiet you know) not long after the re-start led to a maul situation which saw the Moles make 25 or so metres of ground and looking very threatening between the five metre and try lines. Notwithstanding and epidemic of ‘white line fever’ amidst the Gravesend ranks, which was met with determined resistance by the Lancer’s defence. Moles Scrum half Nod emerged to suggest that he’d taken his medicine before the game to ignore the overlap building to his right and subsequently find a gap in the Southwark line to score and give fellow half-back partner Andy Dadson the opportunity to level the scores with his boot; an opportunity duly taken.

The first half continued as a largely even contest with arguably the Moles dominating proceedings particularly in the scrum and with the ball in hand. However, the young legs in red and black were a threat all afternoon and before long the Moles were punished yet again when the ball went loose for a Southwark player to run 50+ metres to score and regain his team’s lead.

Half Time – 7-12

Despite a reasonable amount of replacements at half time (the days of those 46 man Moles’ squads with everyone getting 10 mins game time each seem a long time ago now) meaning that the line-up was a stable as it’s ever been; the introduction of ‘Mole of the Match’ Bob Butler and Harry Dadson into the pack despite being effective in bringing some more ‘punch’ into the Moles’ attack, particularly after the loss of GRFC’s own ‘Geoff Capes’ in Martin Povey, the visitors started to make their lesser age and greater fitness pay by running in a further three tries during the half.

As usual, Moley heads didn’t go down and their endeavour was rewarded when after another push to the Lancers’ try line was gallantly defended a number of times, Andy Dadson stepped up to pull the ball out of the ruck, exploit a gap and touch down for the Moles’ second and final try of the afternoon. Just in case you were wondering how Velcro was getting on; the Moles’ favourite (well, only) Arsenal season ticket holder showed his footballing colours for the first time on the rugby field since, well, last Saturday by, as he put it, ‘winding up’ the opposition’s replacement prop the aftermath of Dadson’s score. Don’t worry though, handbags were stored neatly behind the posts for the remainder of the game.

Obviously, and as always, it was disappointing not to see the Moles emerge victorious but after some reflection and a mouthful or two of rejuvenating fruit juice back in the changing room, most were pleased to have been a part of a really good game played in the best of spirits and well-refereed (for a change) by Stu ‘Peggy’ Pollard.

Worthy of a mention for putting in good afternoon’s work are Russ Turley whose tackling and ball carrying was strong and effective from the back row despite his obvious disappointment at the first team being away and subsequently there being no slap up meal to enjoy at the rugby club on a Saturday afternoon. Rumour has it that Russ stores salt and pepper pots in his boot bag these days but he definitely had his boots with him today.

Before the game, there had been some reminiscing of the fabled Moles/Swans match against Ashford Barbarians a couple of seasons ago. This was on a Kent Cup Saturday and with a number of related fixtures being forfeited or cancelled, a number of Kent clubs’ first team players were keeping themselves loose by running out for the Barbarians. Amidst the utter carnage that ensued, Gerry Keenan played his first full game of rugby. If you can survive that you can probably survive anything and today Gerry put in a solid defensive performance on the left wing for the full 80 minutes.

This is hopefully the start of a longstanding relationship between the more social teams at Gravesend and Southwark RFCs. The Lancer’s tradition of new players being given a nickname based on their recounting of a tale involving an embarrassing situation of a certain nature that they once found themselves in, went down very well with the patrons of the rugby bar and Pounder is welcome at GRFC anytime. Not sure about the other chap firstly because his embarrassing situation sounded vaguely criminal and he may have also mentioned being Welsh!

Pierre and Carl Lund received fines for not wearing a tie to a Moles game: “No one told me!” is not a mitigating circumstance. All Moles rules are unwritten and include the unwritten unwritten rule of never telling new ‘wannabe’ Moles of the need to wear a tie to their first game. Some never learn, and Market Day’s persistent excuse of “I’m injured. I didn’t even play” was rightly judged as chronic attention seeking. This is the only time you’ll ever see something unwritten actually written down: Moles and wannabe Moles are expected to wear ties on Moles’ rugby days whether playing, spectating, drinking; or even all three!

Later on, the Moles moved on to join their partners, lovers and Molettes at the Manor Hotel, Gravesend for the annual ‘Moles Ball’ featuring a turkey dinner, drinking, dancing and human pyramids.

And so the curtain falls on another year of Moles rugby. An eventful year to say the least with our glorious leader and #1, Mr Gary Theobald , devastatingly passing away so unexpectedly but not before he had laid the foundations for arguably the Moles’ greatest achievement in raising over £20,000 for the Royal British Legion as a result of their cycle ride from Gravesend to the Menin Gate and back. Gary is, and will forever be missed immensely by the Moles’ fraternity and beyond; however what he built and has now left as a legacy will continue to go from strength to strength in the hands of his Moleys – well if you ignore the rugby side of things that is!

All of this is proof once again, as if you ever needed it, that the Moles is something much, much more than just a rugby team!

Line up: Elvis, Neil Martin, Pierre Du Toit, Brucey, Shotgun, Velcro, Big Bob, Big Bri, Posty, Harry Dadson, Nod, Cabin Boy, Andy Dadson, Carl Sells, Gerry Keenan, Skid Marks, Lloydy, Q, Carl Lund, Poves,