Moles 10 Edenbridge Vets 7

As the holy city of Gravesethlihem basked in record December temperatures of a mighty 17 degrees Celsius, it was truly a glorious day for rugby as the Moles welcomed Edenbridge Vets to Rectory Field for a festive festival of the world’s greatest sport!

Due to a raiding by the senior team(s) at the Kent/Surrey border club, the visitors had travelled light on their donkeys with only 11 players; leading to Moles’ skipper Shotgun gifting ‘Bridge wannabe Moles ‘Gas’ in Carl ‘Sunshine’ Lund, ‘Nononsense’ in back row Welshy and finally the ‘Myrrh-ciless’ boot of five-eighth, Lee ‘no, not the funny one’ Evans. And if that wasn’t enough, in-form Moley utility back Lloydy offered up his services to make it a full and fair 15-a-side contest.

Early exchanges saw the Moles dominating proceedings both in terms of possession and in the scrum; where despite an initial collapse which saw Elvis having a bit of a ‘Blue Christmas’ with his opposite prop, the Moley pack spent most of the afternoon making the opposition step backwards not least thanks to a full 80 minutes from returning Moles’ legend Bomber whose presence was felt all over the park all afternoon.

Alas though, it was the visitors who broke the deadlock first as first the gift of ‘Gas’ shone and skipped through the Moles’ defence to touch down between the posts before the ‘Myrrh-ciless’ was rubbed in to add the additional two points.

But the Moleys were going to win this one because Shotgun said so before the game and thus heads did not drop. Much recognition for this must go to Stuart ‘Cabin Boy’ Harrington at 10 who orchestrated things all afternoon with strong calls, decisions and perhaps critically, compared to other matches in the recent Moles’ memory, consistently finding touch with the boot.

Young Harrington’s presence was critical in the lead up to the Moles first try. A ‘Big Bri’ charge had led to a maul situation on the five metre line, drawing defenders in and creating an overlap on the right which wing Gerry Keenan was vociferously bleating on about as he looked ahead into the space between him and the try line. Bless our Gerry! Like the true wing he is; Santa is real and the ball is won, secured and recycled by magic so that pixies, elves, fairies and backs can score tries. Troll Elvis felt obliged to break Gerry’s illusion before joining the maul and helping get the ball back to Cabin Boy to feed the strong running Carl Sells who in turn passed unselfishly to the still eager Keenan who backed himself with a determined, well executed finish which the defenders closing him down from either side where never likely to stop! A Moles’ wing scoring a try! Who’d have thought that?

Cabin Boy was unable to take the extra points from wide right but nonetheless the Moles were buoyed and well and truly back in the match!

Edenbridge came close extending their lead shortly after this Moley response only to be pushed back right on the try line. Moles’ counter pressure at the other end of the pitch saw Big Bri at the bottom of a pile of players three or four metres from the line in response. However, some confusion relating to scrum half Nod’s ‘encouragement’ of an Edenbridge player on the wrong side of the breakdown led to referee, Stu ‘Peggy’ Pollard, calling a seemingly premature end to the first forty minute period. In reality, much of the rationale for Peggy’s decision to end first half proceedings when he did was probably due to the general Moles’ verbal indiscipline throughout the first half. Add to this the instances of poor discipline at the breakdown that prompted verbal faux pas and some canny quick penalties taken by Edenbridge it is not difficult to empathise with the observers who suggested that the Moles made hard work of today’s game.

Discipline was much better in the second half which turned out to be an even tighter affair. Some good carries from Shotgun, Pierre and Neil Martin kept the Moles applying pressure. Particularly standing out were Russ Turley, whose force both carrying the ball and in the tackle took the breath away time and time again and full back Merv, running at and stepping round players for fun. What was particularly getting better was the support play. As ever, the leech ball was effectively deployed by the forwards; leaving many to wonder why it takes so long during any given Moles match to get this going.

Unsurprisingly, the root cause of the Moles’ second try was a Turley burst (rumours that this was prompted by a vision of a pie are grossly exaggerated) on the Edenbridge 22 metre line which was quickly sealed off by Oily and recycled to the ever running Carl Sells. And there to Carl’s right again was Gerry Keenan who again finished strongly wide on the right to take the Moles into the lead for the first time in the match. It was a satisfying well-worked try which prompted ‘knowing looks’ between the pack members as well as the odd wry smile too as opposite wing Q exchanged views with Gerry and how the try was created without any reference to shirts numbered 1 to 8! More Christmas magic with leprejocks or whatever small ginger fantasy creatures are called in Scotland!!! Wee Jimmy Krankie or Lulu if you’re lucky! A second try from a Moles' wing though - could it be magic??

So that’s how it ended: A 10-7 Mole victory; the first and only win of 2015; the first win of skipper Shotgun’s captaincy. A win dedicated, as ever, to #1 Mole and inspiration, Gary Theobald. There is always room for improvement, not least in terms of keeping discipline, however this was the best Moles’ team performance for some time. As ever, every Mole gave no less than 110% for the cause today and that includes those who turned out for the opposition and in turning making it such an enjoyable match. What was different though was that everyone did their own job well and in turn played for each other.

And so, proceedings carried on into the clubhouse. Gerry Keenan’s brace of tries was deemed worthy of the Mole of the Match t-shirt without any vote by skipper Shotgun and vice Elvis; Lee Evans’ attention seeking Christmas themed, LED adorned and musical tie was rightly fined and Mole of the Match contender, if democracy had not been suspended, Merv was reprimanded for being taken out by the rope protecting the cricket square!

Mole ‘Cabin Boy’ and his band The Sunday Roast carried on the entertainment late into the night in support of the Gary Theobald Rugby Fund and as ever, the last Mole standing was seen well into the early hours of Sunday morning at the Somerset Arms in town. Proof, if it is still needed, that the Moles is something much more than just a rugby team.

Line Up - Elvis, Neil Martin, Pierre, Bomber, Velcro, Oily, Russ Turley, Big Bri, Nod, Cabin Boy, Carl Sells, Shotgun, Q, Gerry Keenan, Lloydy, Carl Lund, Lee Evans, Welshy

Referee - Peggy