Moles work well together for a solid victory....

On a glorious day for rugby the Moles' greatest friendly foes in rugby, Footscray Vets, took their annual train ride to Rectory Field via the George and Dragon in Swanscombe and the Compass Inn in Gravesend.

However, no doubt a combination of an away day, the Six Nations opening weekend and a wee bit of wind led to 'Cray, despite being 17 strong in the morning, turning up short of numbers. With erstwhile Gravesend 2s star Dan 'Dandy' Douglas unable to help the oppo out due to a split hair or something, Moles' skipper Shotgun was forced into loaning the Vets semi-decent players in Oily, Skid and Lloydy as well as Mick Terry to make it a 15 v 14 game.

Moles' wingers scoring tries has been consigned to grainy black and white, VHS memories in recent seasons but Gerry Keenan picked up from where he left off the last time out by opening the Moles' account after 10 minutes. Forwards' pressure up the hill on the right hand side of the banana pitch was quickly switched left through the perfectly manicured hands of the Moles's back line for Gerry to run the ball home right into the corner. That's 3 in 2 games now for Gerry. No doubt he'll be playing with an acute dose of 'white line fever' against Maidstone Vets later this month!

While the patched up Footscray XV were by no means easy opponents, the Moles looked comfortable for most of the match and it was no surprise when they added to their lead later on in the first half. Again strong forward play saw the Moles deep into 'Cray territory. More ball through the hands finally ended up with loosehead prop Elvis looking like he was going to score his first try in Moles' colors from a similar position to Gerry earlier in the half. However, with two defenders in the process of wrapping him up, Elvis unselfishly went to ground 50 cm from the tryline, placed the ball back for Nod to add another try his impressive Moles' tally over the years. "Why didn't you put your arm out Elvis?" (i.e. to score) was the question from those gathering for the restart as the Cabin Boy narrowly missed another kick from wide on the left. " I didn't know I could." spluttered Elvis in his unique Thames estuary tinged Scouse stutter. "I thought it'd be a double movement!". Another law learned then! You have to remember that only really posh people egg chase where Elvis is from; i.e. those who can control themselves from the genetic urge to misappropriate other persons' possessions and even then they mostly only get 13 blokes to bash into each other 6 times with the egg before letting the other team have a go back!

Half-time Moles 10 - Vets 0

Stuart 'Cabin Boy' Harrington was having another great game organising the back line and directing the forwards from the five-eighth position. Subsequently it was fitting that Stuey found himself on the score sheet early on in the second half. More good Moles' forwards work down the right hand side saw a neat offload from the deck by Elvis to a rampaging Big Bri who in turn offloaded to Harrington who backed himself and strongly touched down between the posts. The subsequent two points for the conversion where also marked up to the Moles's own 'Rock n Roll Headmaster'.

Number 8, Big Bri was also on hand to touch down for the Moles' fourth try of the afternoon as their forwards' fought valiantly for the cause of good old 'up the jumper' rugby by working through the phases, trying to bash their way through the committed Footscray defence and ignoring the 'bleats' of the backs pointing out a four man overlap on at least 3 occasions. Reader; the Moles can live with a winger scoring tries in two consecutive games but its forwards not getting on the scoreboard in a decent victory would no doubt see Ork exclaim "It's all over!"

However, it wasn't all one way traffic in the second half with Footcray's scrum enjoying the introduction of another Moles' loanee in Graeme 'Bomber' Harris into the second row. This gave the Moles' pack much more to think about at the set piece and in defence. While you know his trademark Bomber crash ball will be coming it's always something you want to be following as opposed to trying to stop. This change saw the Moles get Mick Terry back in return and DJ Moley rolled back the tears of his teammates with some jinky snake-hipped forays down the wing. Mole of the match Russel Turley was as solid and reliable as ever in an unfamiliar role wearing the number 13 shirt alongside Kent's strongest wannabe Mole, Martin Povey. This created the perhaps the widest ever midfield pairing in rugby. There is much potential in this Moley midfield mix!

Final score - Moles 24 - Vets 0

The result has to be taken in context in terms of the depleted Footscray numbers but nonetheless, a win is a win, the record books will show the Moles as victors and it's unlikely that anyone will be have been interested enough to read this far. No doubt the return fixture at the end of the season will be a much closer and much more challenging affair for the Moles with Footscray's legendary rolling pack strategy usually a cause of much nuisance.

In an, as always, good natured encounter, anecdotally this writer hears that their was an isolated case involving the waving of handbags; so well done to Velcro for that and in turn, getting a mention in this match report.

Other mentions should go out to Lloydy who keeps up his fine record of playing his most impressive rugby after being loaned to the opposition; Skid Marks for yet again proving that some ' real men' do or have played hockey and Oily for putting in a decent 80 minutes shift in 'Cray colours and never once bleating on to play "just a half" or "a 20 minutes run out". Neil Martin was his usual quick running self but finished one run by celebrating the following day's Super Bowl 50 in San Francisco with the forward pass of the season that the Denver Bronco's veteran (he's 39 you know!) quarterback Peyton Manning would no doubt have been proud of.

As ever, the Vets were welcome and colourful visitors to the clubhouse after the match; staying to enjoy England's defeat of Scotland in their colourful blue and gold blazers and reliably leading the odd song or two. Unsurprisingly, 'Cray were spotted later in the evening at the Compass; 'have beer will travel' and all that!

It was a day #1 would have loved. Moles and England wins and a full clubhouse including fellow enthusiasts from another great club within our local rugby community enjoying what we all love best: beer and rugby (or rugby and beer if you take your rugby seriously) and those who loved him through rugby all know that somewhere he was loving it too.

Why? Don't you know that the Moles is something much much more than a rugby team?

Line up: Elvis, Neil Martin, Pierre, Bomber, Velcro, Hair Bear, Shotgun, Big Bri, Posty, Ork, Oily, Cabin Boy, Poves, Russ, Gerry, Lloydy, Tucker, Skid, Nod, Mickey Terry,

'Sir': Brucey