Bexley Vets 41 Moles 21

On a glorious day for rugby, the Moles made the short trip down the A2 to take on the Bexley Vets. The site of a former mental asylum has not been a happy hunting ground for the Moles over recent years and it proved to be a similar story yet again today.
The Moles squad was the strongest it has been for some time without the aid of any young ‘Molelings’ and thus, there was an air of confidence and focus around the dressing room and pre-match warm up.

Amongst other reminders about discipline, composure and patience; skipper Michael Murray 'Elvis' was clear that against a proper team of wily old vets (remember, the Moles are not a true vets side; only one of yesterday’s line up, Ork, has ever played 1st team rugby and even that was only in tour matches – he no doubt moaned for ages about this) there was no time for any player to wait 10 minutes to get into the game. Every tackle and deed had to count from the get go.

The Moles kicked off. Bexley returned the ball. The Moleys tackled legally, but too high to stop the ball carrier quickly. Bexley work the ball through three phases. A nippy blue and white hooped player burst through the flailing arms of black shirted attempts at a tackle. 5-0 Bexley.

“OK, these things happens, heads up lads, tackle low” Michael Murray 'Elvis' encouraged behind the posts. However shortly afterwards following a similar Moles’ defensive performance led to Bexley extending their lead to 12-0.

Nevertheless, Moles heads stayed up and some composure came to their game, with the tight, up the jumper style of rugby starting to work and gain territory for significant periods of time. However at times things were less composed and handling errors, ‘shipped sh*t’ and no luck with the bounce of an odd shaped ball combined to allow Bexley to turn defence swiftly into attack to make the score 17-0 and then shortly afterwards 22-0.

The Moles were well and truly rocked, not only by the scoreline but also by the loss of influential centre Gareth Moore to a recurring hamstring problem. Nevertheless aside from Adrian Perret 'Velcro' getting over the stresses of another week of estate agency woes via some typical and unremarkable ‘handbags’, discipline was holding and could still serve as a platform.

Full back Martin Povey was struggling with his boot from the restart and when the restart after their fourth try did not go 10 metres, Bexley sportingly offered him the re-kick as opposed to taking the scrum. Albeit gracious, if as the recipient of such a gesture, if any Mole not feel that this was patronizing, demeaning and downright embarrassing, then they are not a Mole. The referee had called five minutes of the first half remaining. “Come on lads, let’s get a score in before time” was the cry from Elvis from the second restart attempt. The Moles quickly turned over the ball in this final five and strong ball carrying by Povey, Tony Garland, 'Big Bri' BRIAN WILLIAMS and 'Oaf' Mark Armitage was seeing the Moles gain in confidence. Ultimately, a break forward by 'Big Bri' BRIAN WILLIAMS who was being well supported by outside-centre Tony Garland whose great running line saw him receive a good pass inside from 'Big Bri' BRIAN WILLIAMS and storm over the line to touch down. The conversion by 'Big Bri' BRIAN WILLIAMS made the scoreline a much more credible 22-7 at half time.

The mood remained positive in the half-time huddle as Elvis and Director of Rugby, Shotgun reflected on the good rugby the Moles played when playing to their strengths, the mistakes forced by a general lack of composure, the lack of luck and perhaps most critically, the missed tackles!

Now with the wind up their backs the Moles started the second half with renewed vigor and purpose. Mole of the Match 'Welshy' Martin Welsh kept heads up with constant chatter and commitment at the breakdown and the introduction of Mike Woodbine initially at prop and later at lock brought much needed aggression into the Moles game. Skipper Elvis led by example on the tackle front with an early second half hit on Bexley’s very influential and tattooed open side flanker whose quality stood out across the park all afternoon.

To be fair despite a Gravesend perspective that Bexley were enjoying a fair share of luck in this encounter, they were clearly a good side with good running backs with useful steps, back rows with excellent technique at the breakdown and a heavy tight five against which the Moles’ usually dominant pack had to work very hard to contain.

With the aforementioned renewed vigor and purpose, the Moles began to boss things and enjoyed all of the play in the first ten minutes of the second half. However, the Moles did not pack any ‘luck’ in with the balls, kicking tees and water bottles. After successfully scooping up a loose ball just outside the 22, wing 'Lloydy' marc lloyd went searching for a gap before choosing to float an ambitious pass out wide to the right that was keenly intercepted by a Bexley player who ran the 75 or so metres to place down the ball between the posts. A score that was totally against the run of play, left many a face looking distraught and dejected as the Moles gathered behind the posts as Bexley successfully converted for the extra two points. The score crept up to 29-7.

However, the Moley spirt was strong today and the second half vigor and purpose continued from the restart off the more reliable (only just though) boot of 'Swanley' Lee Evans. More solid attacking work by the Moles pack saw Bexley pushed back to their own line and ultimately, 'Big Bri' BRIAN WILLIAMS finding his way over the line between the posts, a score to which he duly added two further points by dropkick for another conversion, to get the Moles back in the match once again at 29-14.
It was not going to be the Moles’ day though and Bexley re-found their ‘mojo’ in the middle part of the second half and made their extra bit of quality show by adding a two further tries and a conversion to their tally. Particularly credit must go to their ‘gangly’ scrum half who had a blinder scoring at least three of the tries over the afternoon.

The Moles were not done though and bounced back to spend further periods deep into Bexley territory. Camped on the Bexley try line with potential overlaps on either side, Velcro caught ‘white line fever; and went for glory on his own only to be stopped by Bexley defenders. Quick thinking by scrum half 'Sicknote' Neil Miller saw the ball retained and recycled to Elvis out on the right. Despite his contempt for training that does not involved tackle pads and shields, Elvis showed that he has been paying attention at both Judge John Forbes’ and Squeeksy’s recent training sessions. First, skillfully fixing the oncoming Bexley defender, Elvis delightfully delivered a lateral pass off his weaker left hand (who writes this drivel?) to an 'Oaf' Mark Armitage marauding down the wing channel to add a third try to the Moles account. A successful Swanley Lee Evans conversion followed.

Final Score: Bexley Vets 41 Moles 21

The Moles were philosophical in defeat. Despite the errors and missed tackles, when the Moles were good today, they were very good, enjoyed more of the game, in terms of possession, than the score line might suggest, and although the better team probably won on the day, some of the Bexley players were magnanimous enough to recognize that their margin of victory did flatter them. The match was good preparation for the Moles’ next game against local rivals, Old Gravesendians’ Vets who will bring a similar wily pack combined with ‘sprightly’ over 35, but under 40 year olds in their back line.

After a pint and enjoying Bexley’s popular post-match fayre of sausage and chips, the Moles returned to HQ for the Ireland Vs England match on TV where sadly more disappointment ensued.

Post-match administration saw Welshy adorn his first Mole of the Match t-shirt and subsequently stand on a chair. Joining him, for sartorial misdemeanors, was meant to be Mole Walpole; however considering that he had suffered a heart attack earlier in the week (Get well soon Ralph xx) it was felt that the attention standing on a chair would attract, might breach health and safety guidelines and subsequently, everyone’s favorite dirty pint ‘finisher’, Velcro, replaced him. Velcro will be up there again next time for telling Elvis how much he liked the concoction served, as it was so “sweet”. This observation tees up a not so “sweet” brew for Velcro to consume after the Old G’s game on 29th March, a school night too! Silly boy; when will he learn!

So, the Moles lost, England lost but Everton won 4-0 so not a complete sporting disaster of a day! (Really, who writes this garbage?)

However, there was a ‘silver lining’ from a Moles’ perspective. Moleling Taylor Jr, ably supported by serial Mole tourist, Predator have in recent weeks worked very hard to sell raffle tickets to raise money for state-of-the-art audio/visual equipment to be installed in the players’/Tointon bar ahead of the climax to the 2017 Six Nations and forthcoming Lions’ tour to New Zealand. Moles Oake and Taylor Snr installed this equipment earlier in the week.

The Moles collectively purchased 50 raffle tickets (20% of the total issued) and their investment proved to be a prudent one as they scooped the 1st Prize of £250 cash. No doubt, this windfall will be suitably reinvested into the rugby club in due course.
Proof once again, if you ever dare to ask for it, that the Moles is something much much more than just a rugby team.

Line Up: Elvis, Heinz(57), Pierre, Woodbine, Velcro, Oaf, Posty, Welshy, Ork, Holden, Big Bri, Sicknote, QT, McKee W., Moore G., Garland, Lloydy, Stone, Povey, Swanley

Director of Rugby: Shotgun

Referee: Stormin' Norman